Living for Me

It’s been a year since the surgery. I’m so thankful that God has comforted me throughout my healing process. Before this happened, I struggled with acknowledging God because I couldn’t understand the contradictory messages within the Bible. The near death experience has definitely caused me to re-establish a relationship with our Heavenly Father so that I can grow spiritually.

I’ve often wondered why it was so difficult to maintain relationships with not only men but most importantly God. It has become clear to me that I haven’t been able to succeed in those areas because of the estranged relationship I have with my dad.

I have felt abandoned by my dad. I feel that he has allowed his wife to destroy the relationship he had with his two daughters. He also allowed my mother to give me up for adoption to my grandparents as a child. So while I was living with my grandparents in Alabama, my biological parents moved 3000 miles away…to California. I bring this up because now I realize that my parents actions of abandonment has caused me to have little to no faith with my Heavenly Father.

So today I ask God, my Heavenly Father to mend my brokenness, help me to become whole, help me to experience peace, help me to remember that You are my restorer, my deliverer, my guide, my counselor and my strength. Father God, your word says in Psalm 27:10 that when my father and mother forsake me, then You will take me up.

I now feel within the depth of my soul that this is the beginning of me being delivered to wholeness and success in every area of my life.